Been Thinking.....

So, I've been thinking lately.  In fact, I've written about 20 blog post in my head.  Time hasn't allowed me to write it all down (mainly just because I haven't managed my time to do so), but I am trying to take advantage of this beautiful Sunday to write some of my thoughts.

First off....Callings.

I was called to the Young Women's a few weeks ago.  I am a mia-maid advisor.  I have NEVER wanted to be in the Young Women's.  I was a tom-boy, most my friends were boys, I'm not a huggy type person, and I knew that it was one of the most time consuming callings in the church. 

After I was called, my sister asked if I had a feeling that I would be called to this.  I told her no.  It was completely unexpected.  However, I actually did.  It came a long time ago though.  When we moved into the ward almost a year ago, I had a feeling I would be called into young women's.  When the call came a few months later.....it wasn't young women's.  I was called into cub scouts.  The other ladies in that calling had been in there for years (some even a decade, I think).  So, I decided that I was probably going to be there until my boys were in there.  Then about a month ago, I got my new calling.  It came as a complete surprise, but it was amazing how much my heart grew in an instant.  It was like when I had each of my boys.  As soon as I saw them, my heart grew a size bigger.  The same thing happened, and this time, it was to love 11 teenage girls. 

I had a woman come up to me at church a few weeks ago.  She congratulated me on my calling and kept saying how excited she was that I was going to be in there.  This was all very confusing to me because she wasn't in the Young Women's.  She then told me that she used to be the Young Women's President and that she had always tried to get young mother's in there, like me, but that the Bishop had a firm rule against it.  I guess since it is such a time intensive calling, he wanted them home with their families.  She then told me how she was so happy he changed his mind and allowed me to be in there.  This was very humbling to me.  Since Que passed, I have felt a strong love for the youth.  I want more than anything for them to know how loved they are.

I don't know if I can help them. I don't know if I can be the fru fru hug you all the time type leader. I don't know if I will be what they need. But I do know that I have to show them I love them. I have to tell them that no matter how hard life gets, they are daughters of our Heavenly Father who loves them and there will be a brighter tomorrow.  With my Heavenly Father's help, I know I can do this.  "I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me."

Here are a few of the lessons I have been able to teach so far.  I am loving being able to cook and make fru fru handouts with all my cute digital scrapbook kits I don't use because I don't scrapbook. :)  It's been a lot of fun.



Josie found this cute idea on "Our Best Bites."

BTW, I just found this new mint brownie recipe that tastes just like Kneaders.
YUMMY!!  I will post that on my food blog soon.  Along with these awesome
peanut butter bars that I made for our activity this week. 

Next thought........Spring

I am LOVING Spring.  It is absolutely beautiful.  I have been watching the buds form on my trees and start to blossom.  The mountains are magnificent.  I haven't needed to dress so warm to run in the mornings (always a plus), and I just feel happier. 

We live in such a beautiful world.

On my mind.......My kids

I have attended three funerals in about three months.  I lost my aunt, my great-grandma, and two weeks ago....my cousin lost his little boy.  It was heart breaking.  He had been suffering from Leukemia and his poor little heart just couldn't stand the chemo treatments any longer.  He was Easton's age.

He was Easton's age.

Yes, I know I just repeated that twice, but I did that because that is what I just keep saying over and over again in my head. 

I still remember when this new family moved in next door to us when I was about 8.  In their living room was this hand print sculpture.  I found out that it was of their little sister that had passed away from cancer when she was about 3 years old.  I remember thinking, "I am glad they lost her when she was that little before they got to love her too much."  UM YEAH, I WAS CRAZY! 

My little tiny mind and heart did not know what love was.  I did not know about my 3 year old shadow.  The one that is there, by my side, every where I go.  The one that climbs into my bed to cuddle in the mornings at 6 am.  The one that runs to you when you they got a boo-boo.  The one that says the funniest things and makes you laugh at loud.  The one that makes you so grateful that you have been given the greatest gift in the entire world.....motherhood.  I definitely don't feel that way any more. 

My heart aches for this cute family.  Since Que passed, death is different to me.  I am definitely a different person than I once was.  I have compassion.  Deep compassion.  It hurts.  It stirs up a lot of emotion.  It brings back lots of memories.  It brings back pain.  I don't want anyone to feel that pain.  I can only imagine their pain, however.  They lost their shadow. 

They will always be in my thoughts and prayers.

April 14, 2009 - March 11, 2012
Christopher Michael Groscost was born on April 14 2009. Two days before his first birthday he was diagnosed with AML Leukemia. After 5 rounds of chemotherapy Critter was in remission and enjoyed some wonderful time being a little boy surrounded by a loving family. In December 2011 Critter relapsed. He was blessed to have a baby sister, Ruby, that was a perfect match for a bone marrow transplant. Critter died on March 11, 2012, the day before his bone marrow transplant was to take place. As always, his parents were right by his side giving him all of their love and support. He was so happy to just be home with his family, wrestling with his brothers, and playing with his dog. He adored his little sister Ruby.
We will always remember his infectious smile and bright eyes. His little voice saying, "Sure, mom" and "I be brave" will be missed more than we can say. Critter is survived by his parents; Jason and Nicole Groscost, his brothers Luke and Dallin, his sister Ruby, and his grandparents; Michael and Cheryl Groscost and Craig and Anne Earl. He has many extended family and friends that loved him dearly. We know that he is in a better place and we will see him again, but we wish he was still with us now.
A viewing will be held on Wednesday, March 14th from 6-8 pm, at Larkin Sunset Gardens, 1950 East 10600 South. Funeral services will be on Thursday, March 15th at 12 noon, at the Crescent Park Stake Center, 11350 South 1000 East, where a viewing will be held from 10:45-11:45 a.m. prior to the service. We would like to say a special thank you to the many family, friends and professionals that have helped in so many ways. We are so blessed to have you all in our lives! Online condolences may be made at www.LarkinCares.com